Have you seen this? It was all over Twitter yesterday, so you probably have. Of course, I don't have all the facts or know what's behind their tension, but I would've fired them both if I were their supervisor because it was inappropriate. They're news professionals not reality tv actors, and represent a media corporation that's supposed to have a reputation of providing reliable information. Bad news and behavior often travel faster than good, and I wouldn't want my company associated with that incident.
I've been in this position with finger pointing, bickering and neck flying. In the moment you really feel you're in the right. But when you get to see a recording of it after the fact, you realize you look like a child throwing a temper tantrum. It's not pretty. Man or woman.
As we mature our emotional intelligence should increase to a point where we're able to remain calm in all situations. I often think back to a lesson my dad taught when I was young about being thermostat or a thermometer. A thermostat is controlled by an individual. This is self-control and discipline, where you decide what raises your temperature and gets you heated. A thermometer simply responds to the temperature around and has no control over it's reaction; it just goes up or down.
Self-control and emotional intelligence have to be learned and cultivated. They're not intrinsic to human behavior. We're born wanting our way and only through training do we learn that life is full of compromise - also known as patience. I've had to focus on improving my self-control, patience and emotional intelligence over the years. I'm still a work in progress, but I'm thankful I'm not where I used to be.
If you're struggling with self-control, patience or emotional intelligence be encouraged because you can improve. I can help you assess the situation, compose a plan to increase in the areas of deficiency and track your progress as you implement proven strategies. Schedule a call or book a package today.
Clients book mentors and coaches because they want to start winning in an area of life they've previously been struggling - or to put it bluntly failing - in. They want the prize of abundant life.
Abundant life is your right. You should want it. There's wrong with wanting awesomeness on a regular basis. Matter of fact there's more wrong with average, mediocrity and status quo than working toward excellence and fulfillment. You have too much brain power (aka potential) to settle for less than.
There are roughly 5 weeks remaining in 2015. As you prepare for 2016, I challenge you to spend time journaling the following:
This is what's happening in my life right now. Then list the good, bad and ok.
This is what I need/want to happen in my life in 2016. Again make a list of goals. I recommend including a date, too, because if you have a written plan with a timeline, you have 90% chance of achieving what you've planned.
And if you need even more accountability than writing goals with a date, schedule a call today. I can have a supernatural solution for you in 15 minutes or less.
Your race is yours to win. Start now.
Asking effective questions is a learned skill that if mastered will propel your life and career to new levels. I'm a witness of this. I learned that asking the right questions opens up the mind so that you're be able to look for solutions in different ways. I have a video teaching titled Effective Questions available for members of the Supernatural Success Portal.
If you want to be successful in any area of life being able to communicate effectively is crucial. Part of being an effective communicator is being a good listener, and as you listen you'll hear that many don't properly _say what they want, what they mean or ask for it. You can gauge your effectiveness by tracking how many statements you make that receive the desired outcome each time.
Also, many misuse declarative and interrogative statements. Misuse hinders the ability to have needs met. For example, someone said to me the other day, "I need this problem solved," and continued on about their business. Then they returned to me and inquired as to why I hadn't solved their problem. There was miscommunication and their need wasn't met at the speed they desired. Instead of asking me to solve the problem, they only shared with me (stated) their problem existed.
To communicate effectively, be aware of making statements when necessary and ask questions when you need answers. I realize that bosses and employers often make statements similar to the one above and they need, expect and require employees solve their problems swiftly. That makes sense because an employee is under contractual obligation to exchange their time and work for income.
This is similarly true in high-stakes relationships such as husbands and wives and parents and children. One will say to the other, "I need ...," or "I want ...," instead of forming a question. The level of comfort in those situations often warrants less formal communication practices.
But there are times where we may not receive what we need if we fail to build a foundation through statements and then present the question needing an answer.
Are others responding to you the way you want them to? Are you getting what you ask for? I encourage you to pay close attention to your communication and determine if you're reaping the harvests you expect. If you need help improving your communication book a Communication Superstar session today. In 30 minutes we can take a analyze what you're doing and develop a plan for improvement. Book before 10/31/15 for 50% OFF.
Effective communication skills work wonders in business and in relationships. When you can communicate your needs, questions, understandings and goals you can move forward and achieve new levels of success at work and home.
Miscommunication - whether verbal or through body language - creates limits in progress. Anything that limits your progress puts a cap on your potential success for increased sales, information delivery or moving to the next stage in a dating relationship.
I once witnessed a young person who rolled their eyes each time their mentor attempted to give them constructive criticism. This created an obvious block in their working relationship and limited each of their successes. Using cognitive coaching techniques I was able to bring awareness to the behavior, how it caused the mentor to respond and continued to perpetuate a cycle of failure. I'd love to help you breakthrough, too.
Using my skills as a trained and certified teacher and mentor I will assist you:
Through October 31, 2015 you can book a COMMUNICATION SUPERSTAR session for only $50. If you want to effectively say what you mean and receive what you ask click the image above and schedule your session today.
Last week I wrote about putting systems in place for small business so this week I'm tackling systems for home and relationships.
We all fall into one of the following categories:
I have systems for business and home. To give you an idea, one of the many things I do at home is wash dishes once a day as one of the last things I do before going to bed. I'm not willing to wash dishes more than once a day - holidays and special occasions are different, of course - because I have other things to do with my time. But what I need for the day is ready when I get up each morning, in addition to waking to a clean and empty sink to fill throughout. Included in this process is that if someone wants a dish that's in the sink after breakfast or lunch, it's their individual responsibility to clean it for use.
This system works in my household and everyone's privy to it. It may not work in yours, but it's now a framework you've been exposed to that will help you adopt a system for your life if you need one.
When I worked outside of the home and didn't homeschool, when we came in the door each afternoon, you put your shoes in the cubby under the washer, washed hands, backpacks were emptied and papers were sorted into two baskets - what I needed to review and homework. Snack was served and homework was completed at the kitchen table as I made dinner.
You also need systems for relationships. Whether work or personal you need to know each party's expectations, needs and desires and determine which are appropriate for you to fulfill and which you're willing to meet. For example, it's not proper for you to return to work each week after your days off and share your personal experiences with your manager. However, it's very appropriate to share your daily happenings with your spouse and family.
Just as business owners train employees, we have to train our loved ones how to treat us. Right now I'm learning my sweetheart and he's learning me. We're teaching each other how we need and want to be treated by the other and aligning our behaviors. We're communicating our expectations so that systems can be developed as we move forward. These systems won't always be the same because people change, but it's easier to adapt something that already exists than it is in these beginning stages where we're creating one process from two different entities. I'm teaching on this in greater detail in a live web event Tuesday, October 13, 2015.
I encourage you to look over your business/work, home and relationship systems this week and note any areas needing improvement. If you've already received enough information to implement change, get it done. if you need an outside pair of eyes to target a success strategy schedule a call or book a package today. I'd love to help make your life easier.
I'm a planner. Even before I was a teacher I wrote daily lists of what I needed to get done. Still do, of course, even more so now because I have more tasks to complete as an entrepreneur.
I recently spoke with a client and soon after listening to them share their concerns I was able to pinpoint what they needed to do to break through in their business - and life if they'd put the same processes I shared in place at home. Very simply, they need systems put in place.
This client is high-achieving, brilliant and skilled at money-making but they were struggling and only experiencing a portion of potential success in each of their business streams because, until we spoke, they didn't plan processes all the way through from start to finish, they didn't document them and obviously they couldn't put those non-existent plans in place and follow through to see if they worked.
One complaint the business owner had was that the employee at one location "didn't know how to do anything." I dissected that belief with the following questions:
If you desire to be successful in life, you must have systems in place to facilitate success. People grow up in households and are trained to thrive in that specific environment. Students have new teachers every year, semester and sometimes quarterly, and each teacher trains them on that teacher's specific expectations. As a professional mentor, I train my mentees on my processes for both of our optimal success.
When a new employee comes to work for you or a new student comes into your classroom, they have basic understandings of how things will operate but they must be trained to prosper in your specific environment.
McDonald's has what's called McDonald's University to train their employees on their systems and processes. As a customer of McDonald's I know how some things are supposed to be done, but I don't know the inner workings because I'm not required to provide service for them. They have documented systems in place for ease, uniformity, expectation and success. Their system has been implemented, tested and proven and every one of their employees knows what's required for their respective position.
It doesn't matter if your businesses are small and that you have one employee at each location. You still need to have a written plan in place because employees are actually representing YOU, and they have to learn how to do that. Next week I'll share how this same process is effective at home and in relationships.
You have the right to be successful in business. But if you're struggling or not quite thriving yet, schedule a call or book a package. As in the example above, you may be missing that one thing that will put you over the top in sales and productivity and I can identify the perfect strategy for you.
DISCLAIMER: If you're not ready for some blunt truth DON'T READ THIS.
As a mentor I often help clients get unstuck and move out of wilderness seasons into harvest. But I have to admit there are a few who choose not to heed my wisdom and therefore, choose to remain stuck. That's right, dear ones, it's always our choice to take action or not.
I recently spoke with someone who stated they had no control of their time. There's no truth to that testament. Even if you submit your life to someone else's control, your choice and actions of submission are always in your control.
When you contract with an employer you may think you've given up control of your time, but that's not true either. You're contracting a certain number of hours per day each week to perform specific tasks in exchange for pay. You chose what to do with your life and time when you accepted the position.
If you're working a job where you feel stuck and that you have no control, there are a few things you need to do.
You have the power to get unstuck. You have control of your life and can make it excellent. Sometimes we stay stuck because we're only using the information we have to date and we can't go any further until we seek counsel. If you're stuck and need a supernatural strategy to move forward schedule a call with me today.
I used to be afraid of everything and would run from any type of battle that arose. Partly because I wasn't trained in warfare and partly because the lack of ignorance about how to war effectively left me with a record of failed scirmishes and casualties that I didn't want to continue racking up. I'm not afraid anymore and my deliverance and courage are proof that you can live a bold and courageous life, too.
Unfortunately in life we often have to work with people who are immature and egocentric. They can't see past themselves and haven't truly learned to serve in humility. I used to be one of those people. When I grew out of that, I began to prosper and experienced great success in my career in public education.
But as you begin to elevate the skill (quality) of your enemy improves, too. You have to overcome something greater than your current level to be promoted. Therefore warfare to get to the next level gets ramped up. If you don't know or don't understand this, you may respond as I did and cower in fear and allow a weaker but louder and more persistent enemy to wear you down and run you out.
It can happen - I'm a witness - that a less intelligent enemy can defeat you because of fear. It's not that you're necessarily afraid of them, but the spirit of fear is at work against you. It's alive and powerful and grows with every sliver of energy you give it. It sits on your head like a hoodie pulled tight and getting tighter and wraps itself around your brain clouding your thoughts and smothering your smarts. Watch out, boy, fear'll chew up.
You have the authority and right to live a fearless life. But you're the only one who can overcome fear completely for yourself, or at least eliminate it in certain areas of your life. I know from mentoring that there are some people who truly believe to the point of arguing with me that fear in some areas is not only normal but required. I disagree. In my experience, being that fear is a living organism - like germs - once you feed it in one area it's only a matter of time before it spreads.
I overcame fear by learning to live life as one who forgives. I don't know what it is about forgiving others that defeated fear for me, but it did. That's power. It's supernatural. I stripped my soul and mind of dues owed me by anyone from my past (and still do as days go by for current situations because forgiveness is lifestyle) and I became the owner of peace that passes all understanding.
Are you ready to live a fearless life? Do you want the confidence to face any enemy - seen or unseen - without batting an eye? If your answer is, "Yes," than schedule a call or book a mentoring package today. Life is too short to live afraid.
I know myself as a person and as a teacher and mentor. I know what I can and can't do. I know what I'm willing to do and not do.
I explained before that mentees need to know what they want before I'll even schedule a phone call with them. That's reasonable. Logical. It's a common business and life practice that successful individuals employ. When they know what they want, I assist them in mapping out a path to get to the Promised Land.
I recently met someone interested in mentoring and I determined after some communication they weren't ready for what I do. In my thinking that was the end of the chain of emails, but they asked why I believed that. Man ... that could speak about relationships. You know how one person keeps charging forward, attempting to establish something that the other doesn't deem possible.
Access to a connection is a test. One of my tests for potential clients ends as soon as they fail to follow free wisdom and instructions given. I believe strongly in the principle that if you're faithful in little, you can be trusted with greater. That being said if you can't do the simple, you're not ready for those uncomfortable changes that save lives. That's what I do. I save lives. I'm not the Savior, but I give the wisdom that stops mentees from perishing for lacking it.
This is part of my life's work because a few years ago I was one perishing for lack of knowledge. I had to submit my life to four different mentors in order to be lifted out of the pit of despair. I submitted, listened and learned well enough that now I'm pulling others out.
If you're ready to turn your life around - and I mean sick and tired of being sick and tired - schedule a call today. If you're so ready that you refuse to live another day in the mess you're in, book a package and begin to elevate.
As a certified master teacher and instructional coach, I spent countless hours every week planning and preparing for lessons, curriculum delivery and presentations. I never went before my students, or the teachers I coached, unprepared.
As a professional mentor I offer my mentees the same excellent service. I don't meet with them - whether by phone, Skype or in person -- without planning and preparation.
Can you imagine a teacher or presenter standing before the students or audience, and announcing, "This wasn't on my schedule, so give me a few minutes and I'll come up with something to share."
I often have pre-clients email me their telephone numbers with a message to call them. That's not how a professional mentor operates. In order for me to provide my best service to each client, I must have time to plan and prepare for our interaction. That includes setting an agenda for our call so that no one's time or money are wasted. Additionally, I have a daily schedule that I must adhere to for maximum efficiency in my own life and career.
A mentor is not your friend. You may be friends in life, but when the mentor-mentee relationship is in effect (on the clock) the former is imparting wisdom gained into the latter and therefore proper protocol must be enacted. In order to receive from a mentor, a mentee has to understand the relational dynamics.
I would love to be your mentor and help you dig deep to discover your authentic self. If you're willing and able to learn to do well, you'll reap the benefits of a fruitful life, career and family. Schedule a call with me today!
Author, Teacher, Mentor and Speaker