In my Communication Superstar sessions clients often ask for examples of how I speak to my sweetheart and I have a recent (and decent) example I can share. Below is a simple text I sent to start his day/week off right. This may not seem like a big deal but it is for him for a couple reasons. He travels for work and I was communicating the following to him:
Have you seen this? It was all over Twitter yesterday, so you probably have. Of course, I don't have all the facts or know what's behind their tension, but I would've fired them both if I were their supervisor because it was inappropriate. They're news professionals not reality tv actors, and represent a media corporation that's supposed to have a reputation of providing reliable information. Bad news and behavior often travel faster than good, and I wouldn't want my company associated with that incident.
I've been in this position with finger pointing, bickering and neck flying. In the moment you really feel you're in the right. But when you get to see a recording of it after the fact, you realize you look like a child throwing a temper tantrum. It's not pretty. Man or woman.
As we mature our emotional intelligence should increase to a point where we're able to remain calm in all situations. I often think back to a lesson my dad taught when I was young about being thermostat or a thermometer. A thermostat is controlled by an individual. This is self-control and discipline, where you decide what raises your temperature and gets you heated. A thermometer simply responds to the temperature around and has no control over it's reaction; it just goes up or down.
Self-control and emotional intelligence have to be learned and cultivated. They're not intrinsic to human behavior. We're born wanting our way and only through training do we learn that life is full of compromise - also known as patience. I've had to focus on improving my self-control, patience and emotional intelligence over the years. I'm still a work in progress, but I'm thankful I'm not where I used to be.
If you're struggling with self-control, patience or emotional intelligence be encouraged because you can improve. I can help you assess the situation, compose a plan to increase in the areas of deficiency and track your progress as you implement proven strategies. Schedule a call or book a package today.