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Convenient Political Correctness

2/2/2017

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Are Americans still concerned with being pc? It's a valid question to ask in 2017. 

Riots aren't pc. Peaceful protests are ... riots are not. Ever. It's not politically correct to destroy someone else's property. Nor is it pc to murder or to admit you have murderous tendencies - in most cases, that is.

From my observations, I've discerned we're only politically correct until the moment we feel we can't get what we want. Then ... all bets are off. I've never been a fan of pc nonsense and I seriously doubt I'd ever be accused of trying to be politically correct.

I subscribe to a policy of honor, integrity and speaking the truth in love. My messages aren't always popular because the truth sometimes hurts. But on the flip side, it also sets us free. Therein lies the reality of political correctness - when the truth hurts so badly that we don't want to receive it, be pc instead or risk public shunning.

We are a society of ever-decreasing morals which is the truth. But because that truth is uncomfortable, anyone who states that openly is called intolerant and worse. Political correctness is a lie. It's a facade. It's manipulation. Sugarcoating and denying the truth for popularity or bribery to gain something always leaves one party in a deficit.

​I say if what we're doing and speaking isn't improving and adding to the lives that'll be affected, we have a responsibility to choose differently. I desire for the people I mentor and impact to be free to live their authentic selves and truly be who they are in every situation. I want them to be confident enough to speak their hearts without fear of rejection or retaliation. I'm working on that one client at a time.

​I say political correctness is trash and I'm throwing it out with a bunch of other junk this year. Care to join me?
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I Know Why She's Single

1/5/2017

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Do you have social media friends that you follow simply because you love the foolishness they post? I have one who's particularly entertaining. She posts the craziest commentary and I often read the posts, and whincing, say, "That's why she's still single."

​Here are three no-no's that frequent her commentary that repel men of quality from her life:
  1. Constantly listing the types of men to shun. No one wants to know your dislikes before your likes. When getting to know someone, they ask what you like, love and are passionate about, not what you dislike. Those things are learned over time through observing reactions.
  2. 95% of posts are self-focused. Men don't actually enjoy self-centered people in close-intimate relationships. They are drawn to women who make them the apple of their eye. This doesn't mean women should lie down and be dogs. What it means is men require attention because out in the world they're usually just one of many.
  3. Pride in a lengthy list of must-haves. Marriage-minded men have enough on their plates considering if they can afford a wife, family and all necessities, not to mention the emotional stuff. So when they're confronted with a list of what's required to even be considered by some women before approaching them, they often just forget it and gravitate toward someone less demanding. 
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If you think you may be repelling the quality of man you want in your life because of your words, I can help. I've turned things around for myself and for many other women as well. Book a Communication Superstar Session or schedule a call so you can attract what you truly desire in a man.

It's 2017 ... time to do what's necessary to get the relationship you want. 
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Catch the Big Bee with Sweet Speech

1/28/2016

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In my Communication Superstar sessions clients often ask for examples of how I speak to my sweetheart and I have a recent (and decent) example I can share. Below is a simple text I sent to start his day/week off right. This may not seem like a big deal but it is for him for a couple reasons. He travels for work and I was communicating the following to him:

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If You Give a Cat Some Dog Food

11/30/2015

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... she'll force you to adopt her.
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Telling vs. Asking

10/29/2015

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Asking effective questions is a learned skill that if mastered will propel your life and career to new levels. I'm a witness of this. I learned that asking the right questions opens up the mind so that you're be able to look for solutions in different ways. I have a video teaching titled Effective Questions available for members of the Supernatural Success Portal. 

If you want to be successful in any area of life being able to communicate effectively is crucial. Part of being an effective communicator is being a good listener, and as you listen you'll hear that many don't  properly _say what they want, what they mean or ask for it. You can gauge your effectiveness by tracking how many statements you make that receive the desired outcome each time.

Also, many misuse declarative and interrogative statements. Misuse hinders the ability to have needs met. For example, someone said to me the other day, "I need this problem solved," and continued on about their business. Then they returned to me and inquired as to why I hadn't solved their problem. There was miscommunication and their need wasn't met at the speed they desired. Instead of asking me to solve the problem, they only shared with me (stated) their problem existed.

To communicate effectively, be aware of making statements when necessary and ask questions when you need answers. I realize that bosses and employers often make statements similar to the one above and they need, expect and require employees solve their problems swiftly. That makes sense because an employee is under contractual obligation to exchange their time and work for income.

This is similarly true in high-stakes relationships such as husbands and wives and parents and children. One will say to the other, "I need ...," or "I want ...," instead of forming a question. The level of comfort in those situations often warrants less formal communication practices. 

But there are times where we may not receive what we need if we fail to build a foundation through statements and then present the question needing an answer.

Are others responding to you the way you want them to? Are you getting what you ask for? I encourage you to pay close attention to your communication and determine if you're reaping the harvests you expect. If you need help improving your communication book a Communication Superstar session today. In 30 minutes we can take a analyze what you're doing and develop a plan for improvement. Book before 10/31/15 for 50% OFF. 
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Perspective

10/12/2015

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    Zari Banks, M.Ed

    Life-Hack Strategist

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